Honestly, the past few weeks have been difficult. Linden is being a clingy nightmare who loses the plot if I’m more than 2 feet away, Theo won’t sleep, and Caide is just generally being a bit of an asshole.
Just normal baby/toddler stuff. But all at once. In 3 different children. All of whom need me. Like really need me. For everything. Their very survival. Their growth and development. Their psychological well-being.
Everything I do (and don’t do) shapes another part of their little brains. I imagine them as an adult sitting in a room with their therapist. “So tell me about your mother.”
Because how I act towards them now has long-term consequences. I am their biggest influence. Me. The women sitting in the corner telling them to go away because I’m touched out. The woman losing the plot over something insignificant because something unrelated has been niggling at me all day. The woman who just doesn’t want to play right now.
I was mad to think I could take on so much responsibility. I can’t even keep a plant alive…