I think one of the most frustrating parts of parenting is when you finally manage to get everyone into a routine and then it changes.
Because just before each change there’s a few weeks of bliss. When you feel like you’ve finally nailed this parenting 3 kids thing. When we get out the house every day. When tantrums are fewer. When we get time to do activities/art/messy play. When the house is clean. I start to think I just might be a Pinterest Mum after all.
Then something changes and we’re back to total chaos.
Back to not getting a chance to shower. The house being messy. Nap times going to hell. Lots of shouting, frustration, crying. Not getting out of the house. Tantrums galore. The change in routine makes my anxiety skyrocket. I stress and stress and stress.
Then depression starts to kick in.
It tells me that life has always been like this and it always will be. Same shit, different day.
I can’t face waking up in the morning. I can’t see an end to the endless shouting, tantrums and crying. Of being trapped in the house because I’m too afraid to take my screaming, tantruming, crying kids out in public.
Since anxiety makes it difficult for me to settle into a routine, it is too easy to just get stuck here.
But I write lists, and I make spreadsheets. I time-block around naps and mealtimes. I start over.
I wont let myself get stuck here.