Behaviour, General Parenting

Food for Thought

Caide said something that made me think today.

“You being good Mummy. I be good too.”

I’d been thinking how he was actually being quite well behaved today. I thought that maybe we were beginning to reach the end of this naughty phase.

But this made me wonder if there’s something I’m doing that’s setting him off. Something he considers naughty.

I tried to question him about what he meant but he just said “I don’t know” no matter how I phrased it.

I’m definitely going to start paying attention to when he turns I to a wee toerag and look at what my actions have been leading up to it. Maybe I’ll find a correlation.

Maybe it’s not letting him have ice cream for breakfast. Maybe it’s something deeper, some connection he’s been trying to make that I’m brushing off. Maybe he just randomly said it and he genuinely has no idea what he meant.

I’ll let you know if I figure it out.

#day11 #30daychallenge

Advertisements
anxiety, General Parenting, Mental Health, Stay-at-home-Mum Life

Change of Plans

No, no, no, no, nope.

Routine keeps my anxiety at bay. I don’t stress about things that need to be done if I know I can get it done later. I have naptimes and TV time blocked into the day, and even get the sporadic “all three kids are happily playing” times.

I NEED these predictable times to shower, do housework, bake banana bread (honestly the stuff’s magic), and sometimes just STOP and switch my brain off for a few minutes.

I need a lot of notice to do something that’s not part of my routine.

However, kids don’t give me that warning.

Caide didn’t warn me he was about to have a behavioural regression, making it practically impossible to get out the house.

Linden didn’t let me know he was about to start losing the plot if I left the room. Or even moved to a different spot in the same room. And therefore make it very difficult to get anything done outside of naptimes.

Theo didn’t tell me he was about to go from being the baby who will fall asleep anywhere to the baby who doesn’t even blink never mind shut his eyes. And therefore make it difficult to get anything done during naptimes.

I definitely wasn’t warned that all these things are all going to happen at the same time.

So here I am again, trying to figure out a new routine that allows the babies to nap and Caide to get enough attention that he doesn’t wind up with an ASBO at 2 years old.

Settling into a new routine when anxiety wants everything to run smoothly every day is pretty challenging.

Wish me luck x

#day10of30 #30daychallenge

Behaviour, General Parenting, Uncategorized

Non-Stop Intensity

I cannot parent this child. I’m just not mentally strong enough.

He has had me in tears every day this week. He is just so relentless. He. Does. Not. Stop.

My anxiety is through the roof.

I never know what he’s going to do next. Hell, half the time I’m not even sure what he’s doing right at that moment. Has he run out of the room to go to the potty? Climb the babygate into the kitchen? Wake the babies from their nap?

Is he approaching his baby brother to show/give him a toy or to kick him?

Is he moving his chair to sit on it elsewhere or to reach something he shouldn’t?

I feel like I am constantly living on edge, trying to anticipate his every move in order to limit the damage.

It’s exhausting.

I’m worn out.

I just don’t know how he’s going to react to any given situation. He is not consistent. Something that comforts him one day wont the next. A strategy that makes him listen will only work once. A strategy to get him to co-operate with getting dressed will only work once.

I just can’t figure him out.

I know toddlers are just like this but there just seems to be something more intense about Caide. He is very much all-or-nothing. About everything. All the time.

I am exhausted.

Apparently he is not.

img_20190609_101409

p.s it took me ages to find a photo for this post because they’re all blurry. He doesn’t stop long enough to take a photo. They are always blurry.

#day9of30 #30daychallenge

anxiety, General Parenting, Mental Health, Stay-at-home-Mum Life

Touched Out

Caide is so unbe-freaking-lievably high needs. He always has been. From the moment he was born he has wanted held. 2y 7m later and he is still always right next to me. He has graduated from “always under my feet” to “always right up my arsehole”.

And the constant demands.

“Mummy read it.”

“Mummy help me.”

“What you doing Mummy?”

“What’s this called Mummy?”

“Mummy…

Mummy…

Mummy…”

The instant I’m not paying attention to him he does something he knows he shouldn’t do. I have to be paying attention to him every. second. of. the. day.

Its so draining.

Linden is also going through a clingy phase. I have one or the other or both on me at all times and it’s making me want to crawl out of my own skin.

I am so touched out.

So here is me, hiding under a blanket.

#day8of30 #30daychallenge

General Parenting, Milestones

9 months old!

I’ve had 9 months with these adorable creatures already.

It doesn’t seem all that long ago they were this size.

But it also feels like a lifetime ago. They’ve just fit into this family so perfectly it’s like they’ve always been here.

Such a different experience this time around than it was with Caide. Despite there being two of them it’s been much easier. Is that because I (kinda) knew what I was doing this time round? Is it because I’m on medication for my anxiety and didn’t develop PPD this time? Is it just because they are much easier babies? I’ve no idea, probably a combination of all three.

But I’ve actually been enjoying it.

I went into the 2nd baby thing expecting to simply “get through” the first year. When I found out it was twins I wasn’t sure I was going to even manage that. I’ve certainly not “enjoyed every second” because that’s bullshit, but overall yes.

I’ve enjoyed it.

img_20190605_190035

That pic is terrible quality but I love it.

#day7of30 #30daychallenge

Uncategorized

What’s in a Name?

Why “mousy”?

My Gran loves to tell anyone who will listen – repeatedly – about how her beautiful grandaughter with gorgeous blond curls used to run up and down her (low) windowsill calling herself “Mousy Gordon”.

Well that was me.

The curls are gone and my surname has changed but I think “mousy” adequately describes my personality.

Small. Timid. Hides when it’s busy. Comes out when everyone is gone. Not a fan of being out in the open. Scurries when confronted.

Loves cheese.

(Though apparently that’s a myth according to my “how to get rid of mice” googling last week).

(And yes, I literally only just realised the irony of the mousy mummy finding a mouse in her house…)

But anyway. That’s how it started. If anyone was wondering…

Logo2 png

 

#day6of30 #30daychallenge

Life Events

“There’s a Mouse in this House!” by Daddy

“There’s a mouse in this house,” said Mummy.

“A mouse in this house?” asked Daddy.

“Yes,” said Mummy, “a mouse in this house.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t a spider on a hang glider?” asked Daddy. “Or maybe a wind up toy left out by a boy?”

“No,” said Mummy, “there’s a mouse in this house. Look! There it is under that book!”

So Mummy got a trap, and it came in bubble wrap.

Daddy put some nuts in the door and we left it for a day, and then two more.

And one day when Daddy was making a snack, inside the trap was a mouse having a nap.

And Daddy went for a drive in his car. He went very very far.

He found a new house for the mouse. One with long grass and no cars and lots of hot bubble baths.

And the mouse lived happily in his nice new house.

I think it’s Phil who should have a blog 😂

#day5of30 #30daypostchallenge