General Parenting, Uncategorized

Life With 3 Under 3

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I’m finding this parenting thing difficult because it IS difficult.

Few people have twins. Even fewer have 3 under 3. This is not the norm.

Evey time I go out someone comments, “you’ve got your hands full!”

Yes, I do (thanks for letting me know – I hadn’t noticed!).

There’s a lot of total and utter chaos and me running around muttering/shouting how I’m “sick of this shit”, but overall I kind of love it.

(Which is easy to say when they’re all asleep. Ask me again tomorrow 😂)

It’s adorable,

wild,

and messy.

It’s my life.

#day17 #30daychallenge

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anxiety, depression, General Parenting, Mental Health, Stay-at-home-Mum Life

Changes

I think one of the most frustrating parts of parenting is when you finally manage to get everyone into a routine and then it changes.

Because just before each change there’s a few weeks of bliss. When you feel like you’ve finally nailed this parenting 3 kids thing. When we get out the house every day. When tantrums are fewer. When we get time to do activities/art/messy play. When the house is clean. I start to think I just might be a Pinterest Mum after all.

Then something changes and we’re back to total chaos.

Back to not getting a chance to shower. The house being messy. Nap times going to hell. Lots of shouting, frustration, crying. Not getting out of the house. Tantrums galore. The change in routine makes my anxiety skyrocket. I stress and stress and stress.

Then depression starts to kick in.

It tells me that life has always been like this and it always will be. Same shit, different day.

I can’t face waking up in the morning. I can’t see an end to the endless shouting, tantrums and crying. Of being trapped in the house because I’m too afraid to take my screaming, tantruming, crying kids out in public.

Since anxiety makes it difficult for me to settle into a routine, it is too easy to just get stuck here.

But I write lists, and I make spreadsheets. I time-block around naps and mealtimes. I start over.

I wont let myself get stuck here.

#day14 #30daychallenge

General Parenting, Life Events, Uncategorized

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to this guy.

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The man who loves my kids as much as I do.

The man who will always play even when he’s really not in the mood.

The man Caide runs full-pelt down the hallway for as soon as he hears the door open. And who he cries for in the morning when you’re not there.

The man who was excited (not terrified) to find out it was twins. “Double baby cuddles!”

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The man who keeps their Mummy sane(ish).

People ask me things like, “does he help?”, “is he good with them?”. A simple “yes” doesn’t do justice to how much you do for our children.

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You don’t “help”, you parent. We’re a team. I couldn’t have chosen a better father for my kids.

Thank you for being you.

I couldn’t do this without you.

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#day13 #30daychallenge

Behaviour, General Parenting

Food for Thought

Caide said something that made me think today.

“You being good Mummy. I be good too.”

I’d been thinking how he was actually being quite well behaved today. I thought that maybe we were beginning to reach the end of this naughty phase.

But this made me wonder if there’s something I’m doing that’s setting him off. Something he considers naughty.

I tried to question him about what he meant but he just said “I don’t know” no matter how I phrased it.

I’m definitely going to start paying attention to when he turns I to a wee toerag and look at what my actions have been leading up to it. Maybe I’ll find a correlation.

Maybe it’s not letting him have ice cream for breakfast. Maybe it’s something deeper, some connection he’s been trying to make that I’m brushing off. Maybe he just randomly said it and he genuinely has no idea what he meant.

I’ll let you know if I figure it out.

#day11 #30daychallenge

General Parenting, Milestones

9 months old!

I’ve had 9 months with these adorable creatures already.

It doesn’t seem all that long ago they were this size.

But it also feels like a lifetime ago. They’ve just fit into this family so perfectly it’s like they’ve always been here.

Such a different experience this time around than it was with Caide. Despite there being two of them it’s been much easier. Is that because I (kinda) knew what I was doing this time round? Is it because I’m on medication for my anxiety and didn’t develop PPD this time? Is it just because they are much easier babies? I’ve no idea, probably a combination of all three.

But I’ve actually been enjoying it.

I went into the 2nd baby thing expecting to simply “get through” the first year. When I found out it was twins I wasn’t sure I was going to even manage that. I’ve certainly not “enjoyed every second” because that’s bullshit, but overall yes.

I’ve enjoyed it.

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That pic is terrible quality but I love it.

#day7of30 #30daychallenge