anxiety, General Parenting, Mental Health, Stay-at-home-Mum Life, Uncategorized

Getting My Life In Order

I am a lover of lists. And spreadsheets. And space-saving storage solutions.

I like things organised.

Things have felt a little hectic and chaotic lately. Cleaning has been neglected. Meal plans have been non-existent. We’re running out of food towards the end of the week as a result. Our routine keeps changing.

Kids need a stable routine.

Anxious mummies need a stable routine.

When we’re all getting antsy at the same time it does not make for a good household atmosphere.

So the past few days I’ve been getting back to my lists and spreadsheets.

I’ve written a list of all the dinners we eat in such a way that if we choose one thing from each row we’ve got a full month’s meal plan with plenty of variety.

No more “what do you want for dinner?” “Don’t know, what have we got?” “No idea.”

No more shopping list fails. We’ll have enough food to get us through the week.

It’s going to take so much stress out of our lives. (Hopefully).

I’ve also been planning educational activities and games to play with the kids. And working out a toy rotation.

No more stagnating about the house.

I’ve also been (gradually) deep cleaning everything. And decluttering (again).

It’s awful how gross things have gotten around here. And how quickly the clutter builds up.

I feel like there is always something that needs to be done but there isn’t time. Maybe that’s just home ownership mashed up with parenting.

I struggle to get out when there’s things to be done in the house, so getting back to a routine where things get done will hopefully help with that too.

We went to the aquarium on Father’s Day and it wasn’t nearly as stressful as I thought it would be. Now that the twins are a little older it’s getting easier.

I think the hardest baby days are past.

#day15 #30daychallenge

anxiety, depression, General Parenting, Mental Health, Stay-at-home-Mum Life

Changes

I think one of the most frustrating parts of parenting is when you finally manage to get everyone into a routine and then it changes.

Because just before each change there’s a few weeks of bliss. When you feel like you’ve finally nailed this parenting 3 kids thing. When we get out the house every day. When tantrums are fewer. When we get time to do activities/art/messy play. When the house is clean. I start to think I just might be a Pinterest Mum after all.

Then something changes and we’re back to total chaos.

Back to not getting a chance to shower. The house being messy. Nap times going to hell. Lots of shouting, frustration, crying. Not getting out of the house. Tantrums galore. The change in routine makes my anxiety skyrocket. I stress and stress and stress.

Then depression starts to kick in.

It tells me that life has always been like this and it always will be. Same shit, different day.

I can’t face waking up in the morning. I can’t see an end to the endless shouting, tantrums and crying. Of being trapped in the house because I’m too afraid to take my screaming, tantruming, crying kids out in public.

Since anxiety makes it difficult for me to settle into a routine, it is too easy to just get stuck here.

But I write lists, and I make spreadsheets. I time-block around naps and mealtimes. I start over.

I wont let myself get stuck here.

#day14 #30daychallenge

anxiety, General Parenting, Mental Health, Stay-at-home-Mum Life

Change of Plans

No, no, no, no, nope.

Routine keeps my anxiety at bay. I don’t stress about things that need to be done if I know I can get it done later. I have naptimes and TV time blocked into the day, and even get the sporadic “all three kids are happily playing” times.

I NEED these predictable times to shower, do housework, bake banana bread (honestly the stuff’s magic), and sometimes just STOP and switch my brain off for a few minutes.

I need a lot of notice to do something that’s not part of my routine.

However, kids don’t give me that warning.

Caide didn’t warn me he was about to have a behavioural regression, making it practically impossible to get out the house.

Linden didn’t let me know he was about to start losing the plot if I left the room. Or even moved to a different spot in the same room. And therefore make it very difficult to get anything done outside of naptimes.

Theo didn’t tell me he was about to go from being the baby who will fall asleep anywhere to the baby who doesn’t even blink never mind shut his eyes. And therefore make it difficult to get anything done during naptimes.

I definitely wasn’t warned that all these things are all going to happen at the same time.

So here I am again, trying to figure out a new routine that allows the babies to nap and Caide to get enough attention that he doesn’t wind up with an ASBO at 2 years old.

Settling into a new routine when anxiety wants everything to run smoothly every day is pretty challenging.

Wish me luck x

#day10of30 #30daychallenge