Behaviour, General Parenting, Uncategorized

Non-Stop Intensity

I cannot parent this child. I’m just not mentally strong enough.

He has had me in tears every day this week. He is just so relentless. He. Does. Not. Stop.

My anxiety is through the roof.

I never know what he’s going to do next. Hell, half the time I’m not even sure what he’s doing right at that moment. Has he run out of the room to go to the potty? Climb the babygate into the kitchen? Wake the babies from their nap?

Is he approaching his baby brother to show/give him a toy or to kick him?

Is he moving his chair to sit on it elsewhere or to reach something he shouldn’t?

I feel like I am constantly living on edge, trying to anticipate his every move in order to limit the damage.

It’s exhausting.

I’m worn out.

I just don’t know how he’s going to react to any given situation. He is not consistent. Something that comforts him one day wont the next. A strategy that makes him listen will only work once. A strategy to get him to co-operate with getting dressed will only work once.

I just can’t figure him out.

I know toddlers are just like this but there just seems to be something more intense about Caide. He is very much all-or-nothing. About everything. All the time.

I am exhausted.

Apparently he is not.


p.s it took me ages to find a photo for this post because they’re all blurry. He doesn’t stop long enough to take a photo. They are always blurry.

#day9of30 #30daychallenge

anxiety, General Parenting, Mental Health, Stay-at-home-Mum Life

Touched Out

Caide is so unbe-freaking-lievably high needs. He always has been. From the moment he was born he has wanted held. 2y 7m later and he is still always right next to me. He has graduated from “always under my feet” to “always right up my arsehole”.

And the constant demands.

“Mummy read it.”

“Mummy help me.”

“What you doing Mummy?”

“What’s this called Mummy?”




The instant I’m not paying attention to him he does something he knows he shouldn’t do. I have to be paying attention to him every. second. of. the. day.

Its so draining.

Linden is also going through a clingy phase. I have one or the other or both on me at all times and it’s making me want to crawl out of my own skin.

I am so touched out.

So here is me, hiding under a blanket.

#day8of30 #30daychallenge

Behaviour, General Parenting

Delinquent in Training

I have noticed a correlation between the number of days spent inside and the level of Caide’s naughtiness. Makes sense. Cabin fever. Boredom. Kids are like dogs – they need to be walked every day or they go nuts.

So we went out. Even though I really didn’t want to. There are people out there. But I needed to go to the post office anyway. And I’d reserved books at the library online and was getti g twitchy about having not picked them up yet.

Caide was a nightmare at the post office, including behaviour that prevented an old lady with a walker from sitting down. I was mortified.

But he loves books. He’ll be good at the library right?


Shouting and screaming and climbing the book displays. Rearranging the furniture. Running off. Reminding me why we stopped going to Bookbug.

I just wanted to leave. But if we never go out in public, how will he ever learn how to behave in public? So I persevered.

It was hellish.

The walk home was also awful. We live literally round the corner from the library but it took us 25mins. He was refusing to walk, bum shuffling, “Put jumper back on!”, “Too hot, take jumper off!”. The final straw was when he ran into the road to jump in a puddle, right after I told him not to (yes, I’m going to get reins, despite always hating the very idea of them. Safety first).

I know all of these things are fairly normal behaviour for a 2 year old but I can’t help but feel his behaviour is worse than average. That I’ve done something wrong.

He’s a total delinquent.

#day3of30 #30daypostchallenge